


I've Been Brewing Up Your Coffee

by aroace2019



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, i have never seen a single episode and only have vague impressions from tumblr, major character death but its reginald and who cares about him anyway, so very ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:52:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26353726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroace2019/pseuds/aroace2019
Summary: Family dinner is not complete without accidental patricide.I know nothing about the show but got asked to write a fic about it.  This is the result.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	I've Been Brewing Up Your Coffee

Klaus and Vanya got into a fight. The sound waves released vibrated at just the right frequency to fry Grace’s programming. 

Allison was selected as least likely to poison dinner and got appointed to cooking duty.

Allison did not know how to cook. But she vaguely knew how to make coffee. She looked through the cupboards but could not find any coffee beans. She did find some peanuts. Those were close enough to coffee beans, right? She ground them up and made some coffee. She also served some Five Alive for the weaklings who could not handle the bitter truth of the world.

They sat down for dinner in tense silence.

Reginald looked at Allison. “This is coffee.”

“You taught me to murder, not how to cook.”

Reginald shrugged and took a large sip. He went into anaphylactic shock. It turned out he had a peanut allergy no one knew about.

Ben handed Diego some cash. “I was certain that it was going to be Luther who offed him.”

Five showed up. It turned out he was also allergic to peanuts. He started to go into anaphylactic shock. Vanya saved him using her weird resurrection voodoo magic.

She also resurrected Grace.

She did not resurrect Reginald.


End file.
